Welcome to the first in a new series of krysallis blogs featuring guest contributions from our team of associates.

Madeleine Kingsley – our couples counsellor and family therapist – focuses on the impact of divorce and separation in a 2 part blog series which draws on her professional experience and recent media attention on the call by Baroness Hale for changes in the law.

 

Take the blame out of breaking up

 

Divorce is invariably a contract of grief – a tumultuous life event whether you are the one doing the leaving or the one left behind.  But the country’s most senior woman judge now has a plan to soothe its sting and take the blame out of breaking up.  Baroness Hale has called, this month, for a change in the law so that, when petitioning for divorce, you’d no longer need to cite a specific ‘fault’ such as adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion or irreconcilable differences. Instead there’d be a yearlong cooling off period in which to make practical arrangements.  Lady Hale’s view is that this legal overhaul would end protracted court battles and reduce hostility between separating partners.

 

The grief of divorce

 

So far, so rational, but is it actually possible for the law to act as a moderating  influence on hearts and minds? How many of the 120,000 couples divorcing each year manage to keep hurt, loss and anger in check whilst facing the end of their relationships? Family law solicitors increasingly encourage the collaborative divorce process where, instead of going to court, both partners and their lawyers meet in an office to forge an amicable split.  It’s a welcome advance, but it doesn’t always work, and it won’t necessarily stop spouses struggling with bitterness, regret or a debilitating sense of injustice.

If you are going through a divorce or break up and are struggling to handle the mental strain and grief that it comes with, please reach out to us for help. Our couples and family counsellors are professionally trained with this specific topic and can help you get through this stage of your life. We are based across Yorkshire or online and are currently offering walk and talk therapy to maintain social distancing. Contact us for a free consulation.